Once upon a time lived a woman whose life was complicated yet simple, consuming yet unfulfilled. The woman spent each day living, never satisfied with her life, forever daydreaming of something different, better.
One day, the woman, whose self-doubt towered over her psyche like an abuser towers over their victim, passed a mirror. Pausing, she looked at her reflection. Faint lines formed around her eyes and mouth when she smiled. Pimples appeared and disappeared with every fluctuating hormone level. Random, miniature strands of grey-like wire, stood perpendicular to her . She was beautiful yet flawed, lost in a never-ending struggle to balance life, her happiness, and the happiness of those around her.
Self-doubt aged her, both physically and emotionally. What-if became her alter ego, its grasp on her ability to say fuck it, overwhelmingly strong. The woman, fully aware of the what-if, lived most of her life critical of a reflection and majority of her life choices.
Not wanting to upset the masses, the woman was a wallflower secretly yearning for the spotlight. At times, she would rise from her corner seat, inching closer to the bright light, only to creep back into the darkness of obscurity when others began to stare.
The woman lived life through the expectations of others, following a path laid out by someone other than her. Her life was a dictated script which, at first, was easy, tolerable. Followed by confining, claustrophobic. The woman became a facade of who she really was and what she really believed, slowly veering further away from who and what she wanted to be.
Over time, gaining strength during those moments away from the darkened corner, the woman changed. Some called it rebellion. She called it living.
Her new journey was treacherous yet thrilling. The woman tried to embrace all it had to offer, consciously aware of her self-doubt and opinions of others lurking in the shadows. Fun times were had. Reckless decisions were made. Innocence was shattered. Maturity was gained. Lives were altered. Sex was had. Love was found. Memories linger.
Stories remain, untold.
Looking back at her reflection, the woman noticed something she hadn’t before. Moving her head closer to the mirror, she looked deep into her eyes and smiled, this time, paying no attention to the lines and lingering self-doubt. For the first time, the woman could clearly see who she once was, who she now is, and just how fucking far she has traveled.
Jaded by her past yet excited for her future, the woman stood tall and continued walking. Left behind- what-if and self-doubt.
As she approached the glass doors which opened to the world in front of her, she again smiled. Now was her time to truly, genuinely, live.
Life was now her bitch.
Now, was her time to shine.